Discretion and care

Discretion is an ethical principle of care: such is the premise of this article. Both the act of care and the words of the care provider have to be discreet, in every sense of the term: careful restraint, discerning what is to be said (what, to whom, when, how), discontinuity, and the sharing of a secret speech. But discretion is an attention to others and a form of gentleness that must no longer be assigned solely to women. It is a know-how of presence and withdrawal, which is neither a knowledge nor a power. Two types of undignified situations turn care against itself: indiscretion in care, and a care provider who forgets himself and confuses discretion with his own oblivion. Too absent and withdrawn, the caregiver denies himself; too present and indiscreet, he becomes a denying self. All decent care is discreet.